...it has been...and it just flew by...each year seems to go by faster the older I get and this year was no exception.
As I reflect on the past year so many things have happened...some bad...but so many good things too. As far as the bad go...I feel like its all just a bunch of crazy shit and I will leave it as that...I know what kind of person I am and I will not allow it to get the best of me...we are all human...we all make mistakes...I made a mistake by lowering myself to a level were I let my emotions get the best of me and I said some very mean and hurtful things, however, it didn't change the circumstances, and it certainly didn't change the person who I am...the person my parents raised me to be...a strong woman who HATES being lied too...a woman who thought family meant the world only to be faced with the realization that it evidently isn't...I learned that with whatever time I have left on this earth...I will spend it making my children and husband happy not to mention myself and not worry about trying to figure out why someone is mad at me or trying to convince them that I truly cared about them...life is too short to play silly games...it is what it is...we are in charge of our own happiness...and I don't purposely set out to hurt people or make them miserable...I can't be the reason for other peoples misfortunes.
Today I had to share some things with my kiddos and it wasn't easy...the two youngest may not have understood "everything" but they understood more then I thought they would, but my oldest most certainly understood it all...it hurt me so much to see the pain on their faces but there was no sense in hiding it from them.
...now on a more positive note our new house is moving right along and in a few short months we will be in our new home enjoying LIFE and creating new MEMORIES in it!
...more positive things in 2009...this year one of the biggest for me was the goal I set for myself at the beginning of the year when I decided I was going to run a 1/2 marathon...yes a whole 13.1 miles...well that might not seem like a lot, but when I decided to do this I couldn't even run 1 mile! I used to be a BIG goal setter...something that my dad instilled in me and it was something that I lost when I became a mom :( sad I know...but that does happen...you give and give to your children and sometimes you forget about yourself...well this goal was all about me (yes I know how selfish that sounds). In April, I started running short distances at a time...it wasn't long before my body in numerous places was trying to tell me I was CRAZY for doing this...but I wasn't going to give up. By the end of June I was up to 8 miles at a time...and in October I set out on the cold morning to run my 13.1 mile race...I remembered all my dad's advice from when I used to run track back in the day...but that kick at the end about killed me...but it didn't matter because I knew I was crossing that finish line...crawling or running...the last bit of the run I listened to my "fast song" probably 3 times in a row...and it will forever be known as that...my "fast song" I ended up taking off my headphones close to the end and that's when I gave it everything I had...and I beat the time I set for myself...it didn't matter that I was bleeding through my shoe or my ankle was bleeding...I couldn't even feel that...but boy did it feel good to be done...I'm not sure what felt better...actually being done running or having finished the goal I set for myself...I think it was the goal ;)
I wanted to run some more races this coming year..but with a broken tailbone and possible other fractures I am not sure that will be possible...hopefully my doctors appointment will be able to give me the answers I need and a bit of relief.
2010 will bring many new changes for us! We welcome them all :D
Happy New Year from all of us!